unequivically the answer is “no” if a fraternal bond is shared between your guitarist and vocalist while happening to be a black crowe, oasis or kink. again there be a “nay” if your brothers bee gibb whereas the deleos and maddens carry on gleefully with one another, a point that invariably accounts for some but not all of their suckitude.

ah, the mess that is texas. when the lone star state is thought of, clearly at the forefront of that thought is retardation; the state of the union is strong as long as texas is executing and electing retards. if, as gunny sargent hartman duly noted, “only steers and queers come from texas”, what value does texas hold outside of homoeroticism and hamburger? nothing but it’s inducement to ding-a-ding dang my dang-a-long ling long.

is there a better bounce than that found in the works of billy gibbons, dusty hill and frank beard? is there anyone making better music in the united states than omar rodriguez-lopez and cedric bixler-zavala? can penis reconstruction be made any more entertaining than by the butthole surfers? has anyone loved more girls or roaches than willie nelson? could you add to waylon jennings’ list of the two things that make life worth living? has the sky stopped crying for stevie ray vaughan?

“texas has a religion…

“[i'm] preparing the greatest rock and roll revolution for this generation”

“this is the best music made in decades”

“i’m going to usher in this entire new culture of the youth, obsessed with the future”

on the accompanying movie: “the cgi sequences are epic, and like the music, when it’s action and violence, it’ll be violent, and when there’s love and romance it will give you chills”

thankfully when it’s violence, it’ll be violent while it should be expected the love and romance will give you the shits. an inflated californian self-promoting hyperbole really comes as no surprise, but forcing the issue that art is being created ostentisibly oversteps the bounds of good taste. lo, was it possible for all to work in such an environment:

“we would literally shut the blinds, dim all the lights, put stanley kubricks’s 2001 on the flat-screen tv and take these stephen ambrose world war II books, with these two page spreads of cities burning and people dying, and we’d paste them all over the wall. so on one end of the room, you’d have the endless hope of space, and on the other end you’d have the worst of humanity, and then in the middle, we’d write a love song.”

unfortunately it seems as though dork and along for the ride didn’t stay on the side with the photos, but it is quite evident that the hype machine is methodically marketing the latest insipid project to a space sick generation: want to find out what happened to blink-182? buy the album! want to bear witness to creativity with gas masks and the sun in your eyes? watch the ’short film’ and then buy the album! want to continue to hear a tonal quality somewhere below al jourgensen’s warbling on ‘everyday is halloween’? keep tom delonge on the gravy train and buy the album!

as periodic as the menstrual cycle, some wayward artist’s narcissism erupts in a multimedia extravaganza for all to witness the shallows of their conceit and to world’s dismay, another chris gaines is born.

allow us to rely on marvin, an ok computer, to abstract the bricolage:

“life… don’t talk to me about life.”

but do tell me what it sounds like in the late 20th century! hold up the mirror to the world so that it can say “i’m not here” for it is now a shell of its former institutions, eaten from within and gilded without, a lustrous and vacuous fantasy sonically chronicled by peter gabriel, u2, and radiohead, the noise of repulsion and disintegration or salvation…something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue…this was the sound of nuova europa! what ever does granddad have to say?

“love is gone away
and there’s no one here now
and there’s nothing left to say
but, oh, how I miss him, baby
…
please don’t slip away”

there is aural pleasure in viewing a martian transition. witness 21st century american ingenuity!